Culture Eats Strategy for Lunch

Trying too hardWhy is this the hardest lesson?

It is never about being right.  It is always about being liked. It’s always about fitting in. I need to write that 1000 times until my hand falls off.

What is it about human nature that makes us want to prove that we are right? It never works!

I recently spent some time checking out The Art of Charm.  http://cdn.theartofcharm.com.s3.amazonaws.com/AOC-How-to-Make-a-Great-First-Impression.pdf

First, it’s a great name, very catchy. Second, I agree with the concepts of Approachability, Attractiveness and Dominance, as it relates to making strong first impressions. I also don’t Scowl, Slouch nor Stare, so those aren’t the issue.

But there’s more to cultural fit than doing these right things.  It’s knowing when to stop. It’s controlling an overactive enthusiasm that makes you take one step too far.  That lizard brain reactiveness when you have a niggling feeling about whether or not to do something, then you ignore it and do it anyway.

I’ve been working for over 30 years and I still make this mistake. It’s like I’ve got some kind of blind self belief – that’s both the driving force behind much of my success – and also the Achilles heel that holds me back.

If I’m proving I’m right, I must be doing something wrong. I guess it’s like that adage – it’s not who you know, rather who knows you. It’s about a passive strategy, not an offense.  Maybe that’s why that’s called “offensive.”

  • Read the room.
  • Never assume where the partnerships exist.
  • Lead by listening.
  • Less is usually more when speaking.
  • If you’re investing energy in telling someone that you’re right, chances are, you are losing a different battle.

 

 

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