6 Ways to Thrash and Burn Your Blind Spots

Confession – This problem of mine has been improved over time but it is my kryptonite.

Ever offended someone unknowingly and responded by saying, “But I didn’t mean it that way”.  If so, read on.

Fortunately for me, I’ve worked for some great managers that would not tolerate such an insufficient response.  They know that perception is reality and if you offend someone, your intentions are dwarfed by your result.  If you are in sales, you cannot afford to miss this lesson.

Listen to how others react to you.  This might be overt like in a verbal way.  Or it might be subtle, as in people just clam up on you.  Notice this.  Most people won’t give you an explanation when it’s unpleasant.  Only those who truly care about you will give you that chance, and even many of them won’t even risk offending you back.

Don’t Justify what your intent was.  It doesn’t matter once you’ve offended someone.  All that matters is their feelings, not your unpolished intent.  Once you’ve offended someone, the only response is, “I’m sorry.”

Own it.  Take personal responsibility for everything that comes from you, all words and all actions.  There’s simply no alternative if you wish for the respect and trust of others.

Get outside yourself and try as best as you can to see it from their perspective.  Some people can do this.  Many cannot.  Work on it.  Begin with awareness.

Consider the source.  If someone tells you something and it seems they might be wrong, ask yourself about that person.  Have they accomplished things that evade you?  More friends?  Better career?  Parenting success?  If yes, their wisdom is your freebie so take it.

Be gracious.  Accept all compliments with grace.  Suppress the urge to neutralize the gift of a compliment.  Don’t deny others’ joy in giving them to you.

Speak Their Language, Even If You Have to Go Back to School To Learn It

Today I had an meeting with a customer. When he greeted me in the lobby, he exchanged pleasantries with the receptionist in Spanish. When I jumped into the conversation fluidly, he responded in a very favorable way.
This led to a much warmer conversation at the start of our meeting as we learned that we both share a common interest for Spanish immersion experience.  I shared with him that Spanish immersion is on my bucket list; he shared with me that he’s going into Spanish immersion on an upcoming trip.

I haven’t closed the sale yet, but a lasting impression is always effective, so make it positive.

Control What You Can Control

The real name of this post is, My Mom Died and Left Us With A Bigger Kitchen Table. However, it’s been brought to my attention lately that my blog might be misnamed, so I will start by explaining.

Sales & Networking Wisdom will remain the name of my blog.  Networking is being appealing enough to connect with others.  No one wants to be sold, but people do like to connect.  Connectivity is most likely to occur when people share who they really are, authentically and personally.  So you will find that my posts are personal and that is why the title feels right to me.

Successful people know that attitude is perhaps the biggest measure of winning and making positive things come about in one’s life.  Attitude is frequently the only thing over which we have control.

I like making observations in my daily life about things that could be considered a negative, but when reframed as a positive, bring me energy rather than steal it away.

Such was the case this morning when I saw my kitchen table with the extra leaf that was never used much until my mom died in January.  Now we keep it in because my single father is a frequent guest for casual meals.  What could be a sad thought is now something that brings me joy.

Yesterday I found myself falling into the common sentiment to complain about the oppressive Dallas heat.  My car said 104.  I love summer; I dislike harsh winter.  So I asked my FB community which would they prefer, 104 or only 4.  A consensus of 104 prevailed.

It’s all about perspective.

Learning From Your Parents In Their Twilight Years

If you are a parent, no doubt you can identify with the concept of not only teaching your children, but being surprised that the true learning you are obtaining FROM them.

What about when you are deep in the sandwich generation?  How can you start learning again from your parents?

Some things I’ve learned recently from my 81 year old Dad–

He didn’t really like eating at family style restaurants.  That was my Mom’s choice.  Ruth’s Chris is more his style.

He’d rather shop at Nordstrom than The Rack; also Mom’s vote.

He’d rather a contemporary styled home; you mean that house you lived in for the past 50 years wasn’t your taste the whole time?

Lest you think this is  simply a profile of my Dad, here’s the take home.  COMPROMISE.  Know when to compromise and know when to speak up.  My parent’s marriage was a story book picture in my mind’s eye.  Accurate or not, what a great example.

Never stop playing.

Never stop laughing.

Never stop moving.

Never stop sharing.

Never stop learning.

Never stop reaching.

Never stop risking.

Happy trails.

You Are What You Eat

Yeah, yeah, heard it before. C’mon people there are no new ideas. Well, not from me because I’m no a rocket scientist. Just new ways to apply what we already know. And try to learn from past mistakes. And reinforce things we may have forgotten.

Garbage in/garbage out.  I blogged about the risk of toxic relationships way back, but it’s worth a repeat.  And to give other examples:

Music creates mood.  If you listen to calm music, you feel different than if you listen to heavy metal.  Same for gangsta rap (note to self).

Reading fills your mind.  So you want to fill your mind in a positive way?  Be selective of what you read. Need to limit FB time?  News exposure?  Whatever works for you.  Choose fiction or non-fiction, biographies, how to’s or trashy beach reads.  It’s up to you, but realize the impact for the better or worse.

Food.  Darn that pesky subject.  But true that.  Eat fresh and you’ll feel fresh.  Eat heavy/feel heavy.  You get it.

Exercise.  Did she have to mention that again?  Self-explanatory.

Video games.  OK this is sensitive in my house because I have a 15 year old son.  Call of Duty creators, really did you have to go there?  Special Ops…please.  Will you pay my legal fees later?

Spiritual Diet.  Whatever you do for this.  Pray, meditate, journal, blog.  Do it.  Put it on the list.  Go in before you go out.

Happy Trails!

Who’s Your Catalyst?

How do you get out of a rut?  Are you able to do it for yourself or do you rely on outside factors?  Or a combination of the two?

We all know the advantages to controlling what you can control and focusing on your circle of influence.  As well, we know the pitfalls of relying on outside circumstance. 

What makes you decide when enough is enough and it is time for change?  Or simply time for action? 

I don’t have the answers today.  Only questions.  Feel free to share your answers if you have some to share.

What Delights You?

How do you start your day? What things do you do to put yourself in the right mindset to hit the phones, road, etc?
Here are some things that work for me.
Ever try using Urban Dictionary instead of Google? It is hilarious and I find it addictive because I love to laugh. Given my taste in music and pop culture, Urban Dictionary comes in handy. I just have to limit my addiction because I enjoy it too much.
Whether you like to tan or hear great tunes,
Eat sweets or spend time with your sweetie,
Take a hot shower or a drive a hot rod,
Do a juice fast or buy a Juicy purse,
Delight yourself and have a great day.