A man’s mental attitude in respect to defeat is the factor of major importance in determining whether he rides with the tides of fortune on the success side of the River of Life or is swept to the failure side by circumstances of misfortune. Source: Napoleon Hill

What does this mean?  More tritely stated, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.  

If you are unemployed and are spending your time visiting career networking groups to any degree, chances are you keep hearing about the importance of maintaining a positive attitude.  Sometimes, under the guise of good intentions, just by seeing you at a career networking function, people will volunteer advice telling you to “keep your chin up” or “work on your attitude”.  Truth be told, I’ve gone to some networking functions in a great positive mindset only to be set off track by someone assumming I need a kick in the pants.  Thanks, but I’ve got that department well under control.

Today I was sharing, with a colleague, concern I have about reducing exposure to a friend of mine that has been giving me steady doses of discouragement about my job search.  Too much activity, undirected activity and not enough down time are various unsolicited advice tidbits I’ve received from this self-described friend.   Hearing these false assumptions makes me all the more clear minded that I am doing exactly what I need to be doing to find success and fulfillment in my career future.  But the frustration of selling my methods to this disbeliever makes me question the time invested to do so.

The colleague, a professional life coach, told me that I should be grateful to this friend because she was challenging my beliefs.   Making me question my methods and clearly defining that I am on the right track is among the most useful ways I can be spending my time right now.

If you are in transition and unsure of your next step, whether it is what to do tomorrow or what industry to pursue for a career, take some quiet time each day.  Read whatever stimulates you to think about what matters to you.  Spend time daily looking within yourself for what you need to do next.  There will be plenty of outside factors, human or otherwise, to steer you here or there.  Don’t delegate this important responsibilty to anyone but yourself.  Take charge of your destiny.

No career decision is final, but make a decision or you won’t make progress.  If that decision turns out not to work for you the way you intended, make another informed decision.   You’ll be getting closer to what works best for you by eliminating what doesn’t work at all.


About Melanie M. Morris
Broker of Trust and Authenticity I'm really a sales executive, but I'd rather identify with these ideals rather than to simply say...I'm a seller.


  1. Melanie, I love the continuation of our conversation into your blog! And I so agree with you that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

    When I look back at my very worst moments, I can actually see how blessed I was to be in them, and how much they served me. The challenge is to see that at the moment it is happening, which is what I strive to do.

    Here’s another great quote: “Your wisdom about any particular challenge is reflected by the amount of space/time it takes to see crisis as blessing.” — John F. Demartini

    I look forward to reading more of your blog!


    • Melanie M. Morris says:

      Thanks Margery. Here’s one of my faves for you…

      Q: What’s the opposite of paranoid? A: Believing that everyone is part of a plot to enhance your well being.

  2. John Lawing says:

    We all know that there are many people that dwell in negativity. I try to limit my exposure to those types of people. Surround yourself with people who are positive…people are either “wind in your sail” or “anchors on your tail”. Cultivate the “wind in your sail” relationships, and stay positive…you never know who your attitude might influence.

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